Jill’s 12 Signs Your Wife — or Mom — is an SEO

Over at SEOmoz, Rand’s mystery guest writer has blogged about 10 Signs You’re Dating an SEO. However, it seems to be written only from the perspective of being with a male SEO. How old-fashioned can you get? Guess what mystery writer? There are female SEOs too, and they also are dating or have spouses, and even kids! Surely their spouses and kids are just as neglected as the male SEO’s spouses — maybe even more! So in an effort to balance the gender scale, here’s my 12 Signs Your Wife — or for those of us with kids — Your Mom is — an SEO.

1. Dinner is burned because she’s been running back and forth between the computer and the stove, but got wrapped up in a very “important” forum post about cloaking.
2. The entire house is woken up at midnight by the sounds of her laughing hysterically on MSN messenger with her other SEO women friends.
3. You miss your school bus because SEO Mom was too busy deleting the morning spam to get you to the bus stop on time.
4. She pays friends and relatives to chauffeur you to your various school activities so she doesn’t have to leave her computer for more than 10 mins. at a time.
5. Your friends think she’s cool because she talks on IM all day like they do, and she is also up at all hours of the night.
6. She’s always saying, “If you work hard in school, one day you may grow up to run a Search Engine!”
7. She insists her friends provide her with links in exchange for her advice.
8. You come home from a hard day at the office and want to go out for a drink with your SEO wife, but she’s still in the same sweats from 2 days ago and it would take her way too long to get cleaned up to go out.
9. She spends more time in bed with her laptop than in bed with you.
10. When you go out to eat, she mentions that a restaurant review would make great content.
11. Instead of calling your name when you’re having sex, she calls out “Take me to #1 Google!”
12. When she goes away to speak at a conference, she puts a cardboard cutout of herself at her computer chair, and nobody notices she’s gone until day 3 when her husband can’t find his keys.

[Special thanks to Scottie for some help on a few of these when I got stuck with only 7 done!]

Posted by Jill on 11-13-2006 at 12:11 am
Posted in Silly SEO Stuff with 4 Comments